Pathetic and Sad: Anti Rachael Ray Petition

On one of those online petition sites, some whiz kid has set up a petition to have Rachael Ray removed from the Food Channel. The petition has been signed and commented upon by numerous ingrates.

Well, here's the deal. I am sort of bummed by all of the folks who feel a need to gripe incessantly about someone who is clearly among the most popular celebrities and authors of the day (Rachael Ray). So, I would like to respond a little bit to their foolishness.

I am not gonna provide a live link to the site, but if you want to read it, you can do so by going to this site:

http://www.petitionspot.com/petitions/RachaelRay

Warning: Not surprisingly, many of the people involved in this little spurt of bad manners use less than family-friendly language in their gripes.

OK, now I am not gonna spend a lot of time trying to defend Rachael Ray. I think she does that very well on her own by producing some great recipes, books, television shows and magazines. What I am going to do instead is take a look at what the petition actually says. It is shocking how simple-minded some people can be. Those getting on Rachael Ray's case are certainly in that crowd.

The petition author writes:

"Rachael Ray's television shows on the Foodnetwork are apolling to food lovers all across America. She has her 30-minute meal show where her meals are grotesquely simple. She has no culinary training, how the hell did she get a show? Her next show called $40 a day, is also apolling. EVERY single item she devours, Rachael is in bliss. She has to have some sort of negative critique on her food. I cannot believe that every dish she tries is the most wonderful piece of matter she has ever tried. KICK HER OFF THE FOODNETWORK!"

(1) "Apolling" is not a word. Not even close. If you are going to issue some sort of giant petition, it may be a good idea to nail the spelling words used to weed out kids in the first round of local spelling bees. Of course, Rachael Ray is not "apolling," but she isn't "appalling," either.

(2) "Grotesquely simple" makes no real sense. To be grotesque is generally understood to be distorted, unnatural, or (in the alternative), ludicrously odd. How anything could be unnaturally simple (an oxymoron) is difficult to grasp. Especially in the context of a Rachael Ray recipe. Or, can you imagine anyone complaining "that Rachael Ray recipe is ludicrously odd in its simplicity?" Thought not. I think the petitioner is probably trying to say that Rachael Ray makes quick and easy dishes instead of complicated gourmet meals. Congratulations, kiddo, that's the point. It isn't called 4 hour and 20 minute meals, after all.

(3) I hate to break it to the genius petitioner, but the shows are not filmed live and they are edited. Thus, the positive reaction to the dishes served on $40 a Day. The idea is not to provide unbiased assessments of every restaurant Rachael Ray visits. Instead, it is to demonstrate where good food values can be found in different cities and to remind us that we can find delicacies of all sorts on a budget.

Additionally, if Rachael Ray were to react negatively on-camera to a meal, there are potential liability problems for the production, it could result in fewer invitations to film on other locations, etc. Plus, it wouldn't be particularly entertaining.

(4) "FOODNETWORK?" Try Food Network next time. Additionally, in an age where almost all of us have literally hundreds of channels from which to choose, why would anyone need to see anyone kicked off any channel when they need only slightly depress a single finger on a remote to tune in something else. Sick of Rachael Ray? Turn the channel.

Oh, and television networks are prone to make decisions less on the basis of gripes from malcontents with spelling and logic issues than they are on the basis of ratings. You can't tolerate Rachael Ray? Guess what, buddy, a far more significant portion of people feel the other way and love Rachael Ray. Thus the multiple Rachael Ray tv shows, the new Every Day with Rachael Ray magazine, etc. etc. etc. And, by the looks of it, she connects with the right demographics which means advertisers want a connection. Which means teenage boys with internet access will probably fail to dethrone Rachael Ray as America's cooking queen.

Thus concludes that little pseudo-rant about those who feel it necessary to criticize my fave, Rachael Ray.